Two Fathers

by Tom Peters

Life is complicated if viewed over a long enough span.

Chris, eldest son was born in 1971, not long after my return from Vietnam combat and returning to the steel mill I started working in before I was drafted. Chris’s mother Pat and I eloped just two months before entering the US Army. I wanted to wait and get married after serving my two years. Pat’s OB/GYN discovered fallopian tube abnormalities and we decided to get married right away so my steelworker’s health benefits would cover the procedure.

Steel mill work was hard and demoralizing so I attended night and weekend classes at Wayne State University. Graduated in 1985.

Father 1:

1. Worked 8 and sometimes 16 hour shifts at a steel mill plus college work weekends and evenings, leaving much of the child rearing to Pat and babysitters.

2. Worked towards a better future more than the present situation.

3. Alcohol and drug use on my part was in full view of Chris, Jeannie and Justin.

4. I made no secret about my socialist political views and was active in far-left wing union activities.

5. Though hidden from our children when they were young, I’m sure they were told of my infidelities eventually by their mother. Pat and I divorced in 1986.

Father 2:

Today, raising Elisabeth Susan (age 15), I’m a different father.

Since I’m using a list about for my indictment of the father that was, I’ll use a list for the father I am today.

1. I married Elisabeth’s (Ellie) mother, JoAn, at a Malibu beach wedding in 2004 after a 5-year relationship and agreement to have child/children even though I was 55 years old and JoAn was 40 years old.

2. I retired from the steel mill on 1997 and moved west for a new start on life.

3. I obtained a bachelor’s degree in 1985, a master’s degree in 1994 and a Doctorate in Business Administration in 2005.

4. I have been an active participant in raising Ellie since her birth in 2006.

5. In 2020, after working 14 years as a professor at Santa Monica College, I retired again.

6. Since 6th grade Ellie has attended a private school and plans for scholarships and college are in the planning stage.

7. I’m home all the time (Ok, we’re in the middle of a devastating pandemic)

8. Ellie and I cook two meals together every week, go the local park and play catch during the week and I’m teaching her photography and how to drive.

This is the father I am today. I’m sad about the father I was but oh so glad to be the father I am today!

Why did I write this?

Our country is severely divided....I’m on one side and my first family is on the other side. Chris, Jeannie and Justin take my phone calls most every Sunday and we talk endearingly to one another and always say “I love you” before we hang up.

I guess, ‘thanks’ to Facebook I know the political rift between us.

But love wins...