Hugs

by Tom Peters

All ten of us grew up in Lincoln Park Michigan. Now only two remain and they’re not speaking to each other. As the oldest, I left first and over the years ended up the furthest away by settling in southern CA. Most of us like to think we’re all close. Close, such a relative term for describing relationships. I pride myself for calling every brother and sister on their birthdays. How many calls besides the birthdays? Maybe one or two each depending on milestones or calamities they may encounter. I also visit once a year, but I often wonder if my three older children didn’t live there, would I even bother. Now only four live in southeast Michigan.

I tend to be attracted to the sincerest hugs. A lifelong habit between us siblings not cultivated by my parents. They were not huggers and thou I insisted upon hugs for all after returning from the Vietnam War, neither one of them hugged back with even the slightest pressure. Brother Dave, only a year and half younger than me and my sister Sharon, born last of the four girls hug uncomfortably like my dearly departed parents, Milt and Sue.

I’ve noticed my twin sisters, Janet and Joan, hug with almost as much pressure as I put upon them ever since they retired and moved to Knoxville, TN. Brother Gary seems fragile nowadays so his attempt to match the pressure is quite satisfying. Sister Joyce and brother Ken live in the Sarasota area, so our hugs are heightened by the shear number of years between those hugs.

Brother Bob, the only one besides my sister Sharon to still live in our hometown, seems to miss me and his hugs say just that, ‘I miss you brother’ is silently convened by both pressure and longevity. Only Ray, living in North Carolina, youngest of my siblings, hugs hard and it lasts as so long that it makes me aware that everyone else’s body language cues ne to break my grip. Ray, who has known me the least number of years, hugs me like he doesn’t want to let go.

Back to the relative issue for being ‘close’ to one’s sibling. My guess is that if you were to ask anyone on the street if they were close to their siblings, the answers wouldn’t tell you the real picture. I feel very fortunate that all my siblings are still alive and we all hug, I’m going to call that close.